The Joys of Channelling. . .

Monday, 31 January 2011




The Joys of Channelling. . .





Amongst all the craziness that is my life nowadays I have gained one wonderful skill / ability of channelling. Although I have done it since 2008, it really has geared up since my awareness of my Twin and the whole twin flame saga.




I originally did automatic writing using angels and guides, which were mostly helpful if (somewhat unsuprisingly) cryptic. It is not until events come to pass that the meanings are glaringly obvious and only the most astute and mentally aware will catch it before or just as it is happening. I am getting better at it!




Once I had made the concious connection to my Twin, one of the things I worked on was opening the chakras and doing clearing work between us to help remove unwanted energy, karma and attachments and help heal any areas needed. On my first attempt at this back in Nov 2009 ish, I slipped into a trance like state where by when I came to I was aware that I had no control of my body and I was in the bac of my head observing someone else using me !!! It didn't take too long to realise that somehow I had pulled in Twins energy and I was channelling him. Although details won't be divulged as to the actual content, I will say it was both fascinating and weird. I observed for a while, and also played with what I could do as I was able to also "talk" to him mentally, and eventually I slipped out of trance and regained full use of my body. It left me quite exhausted but intriugued, and very weirded out. The experience although I can recall it, it was like recalling a memory of an event I had vaguely paid attention too - almost dreamstate like.




In Dec after I had a reading from a Canadian Medium, I asked her if it was normal in the realm of channelling to channel live people for I had only thought it could be done with those passed over and guides/angels. She kindly told me it was indeed possible and she did it too. In fact I have come across several people who have done it now. I then tried to instigate a channelling after I had a vision of Twin as I was concerned as to the content at the time, which happened suprisingly easily. I then did it once more about a month later before I forgot about it for a while.




In 2010, when Twin was working I was Sunbathing in my Dads garden when I had the strangest vision of him on stage and being surrounded by angels and being lifted up before all I could see was light. The next thing I know I had zoned out and he was being channelled again with me observing. This lasted about 20 minutes.




Zoom forward to a couple of weeks ago and a fellow celebrity twin flame worker who channels people frequently unexpectedly emailed me to let me know she had channelled my Twin to give him a message and that he also had one for me. Once delivered he had made a request to which I agreed too. Consequently as a result following my realization of my sexuality, I started to feel really weird. It took me a while but I realized that my flat looked "different" like I'd never seen it before and that I was looking at some of my stuff like I didn't really like it and suddenly realized I very much felt like a man. I then clocked that I had Twins energy in me - only this time it wasn't a regular shared channelling, he was actually taking me over fully. I then lost consciousness. When I came to, I recalled very vaguely later like a dream the general jist of what had happened as it had left residual traces in my memory, but it turns out my friend had bee somewhat surprised to find herself having a conversation with "Twin" but could tell it wasn't "me" as my energy had changed, and when she read a photo of him it matched my energy and my voice had changed too including how I spoke and the way I spoke. My friend had never experienced interacting or seeing channelling before but she went with it. He was extremely open and forthcoming about alot of things, although again, much of the content will be saved for the book!




When I came to on the sofa my friend later filled me in on what had happened. I then found during the course of the following week he was cycling in and out taking over for periods of times even getting my to do thing like I was being prepared for something. At one point I became really angry and felt violated at the fact it was happening but soon came to realise it was part of the current events happening for many twins, as 2 of my friends also experienced the same during the week too.




I have no idea of what is happening at his end, his awareness of things, although in his words "I don't understand half the stuff she talks about" "I'm clueless" and "I don't recall it consciously at my end" where a big help . . .




He did state however that whatever he picks up my end will filter through to him subconsciously and then likely manifest in outside circumstances and events that reflect the messages back at him.




I am sat at my friends relentlessly working through our blocks and she physically witnessed my channelling her twin, plus her higher / near future self that was fragmented from her. (The latter I wasn't conscious for and lasted for hours talking!)






Part of my channelling today included becoming a human pendulum for my friend and I appeared to be releasing her anger for her, which was so extreme in its depth and force it sent my body into shock for hours, at one point I went into mental shock but luckily was aware enough to pull myself through.




I am concerned for those who experience any level of energetic release or integration / channelling who are not aware enough to handle it as it could cause mental breakdown, nervous exhaustion etc.

I hope at Twins end he is not experiencing it to the degree or intensity I am, and from the twin flame process I have observed and experienced to date, what one twin suppresses the other over expresses. I have also learnt who ever does all the internal work - usually the female / feminine half, undergoes a major inner awareness awakening and transition, and that then manifests for the male / masculine half in his outer / material world. (example my suppressing my sexuality is mirrored in Twins flamboyance and publicity of his, me releasing a mirrored fear / block will likely change a reflected behaviour in both of us)




I cannot speak for Twin directly (barr the channelings!) but this process has been very very hard for me to get my head round to the point now my mind has shut down to arguing or trying to control after it going into major mental shock after one of the Twin channelling's last week where I broke down and became extremely angry and overwhelmed.




For those of you going through a similar process but may have been unaware of what exactly was going on I hope this has shed some light on it and know that it is part of the cycle of energy of sharing preparing us for the next phase. We are all being pulled together now to do the soul work we agreed to, so I hope we all can let go and let Source/God guide our paths.




Namaste dear friends.







x

Past Life Flash Back

Friday, 13 August 2010




Past Life Flash Back. . .



I have been feeling quite rough the past couple of days, sleeping constantly, and feeling weak and almost like I am "fading away" in some context. I managed to drag myself into the bath, only to find myself feeling even worse, and then starting to feel a bit concerned as my breathing was getting weaker.




I then asked my guides/angels what the eff was going on, and why was I feeling like this. Next thing I know I am in flashback mode to the life where I was a "wildchild" running through the forest lands I can quite vividly see myself, my arms, my legs and feel them moving. I am quite agile, and adept at foraging and scavaging. Animals do not fear me, nor I them so am able to communicate with them. I have learnt the behaviours and how to approach them with no fear and with respect.





I am around 4 or 5 when I was "lost".






I am older, I guess around 13-15 when I am found by a travelling carnival/circus and caught in my curiosity of the strange creatures camped in the forest clearing. My Twin is a boy around 16 who works as a cleaner and carer of the animals. He takes on the job of caring for me, teaches me how to communicate. He is patient and caring. There is an instant bond between us and I trust him - though not the others. I am kept in the gorilla cages, as the animals feel safe and I do with them. I try to escape on occasion, but am either caught or on the last occasion am drawn back because Twin asks me not to leave. . .yet.




He remains my carer, teacher and friend telling me if once the carnival finishes I still wish to he will not try to stop me. He feels I am "needed" with them as I show people how to interact and treat animals well. He loves the animals as much as I do and does his best to love and care for them.





The love between us is pure - there is no hidden agenda and he wishes only to care for and protect those he loves.






One day I start sleeping a lot and feeling weaker and weaker. It is 2 days later TF finds me in the forest clearing where I was found originally, 2 years before, where the carnival is camped on it's tour. I am weak stumbling towards the forest, the moon is full, the sky is clear and stars can be seen. It is a warm night with a gentle breeze. John calls me, I see him, smile and collapse. He runs to me holding me.


I can hear myself telling him "I am sorry" to which he asks "what for?"


Me: "I cannot go with you. . ."

Him: "Your ill, we must get you back"

Me: "I am sorry. . ." (I smile, weakly and put my hand on his heart)

Him: (realises how ill I am) "No. . . please. . .don't leave me. . ."

Me: "It is not our time. . ."

Him: (crying) "No. . . I love you, I am supposed to protect you. . .don't go. . . please. . .please don't go. . ." (he puts hand on my face)


Me: (holds hand on his, moves head and kisses hand gently) "It's not our time. . ." (Looks directly into his eyes) "I promise you. . . we shall meet again."


Hand falls, eyes closes and I fall asleep for the last time.






He is left sobbing holding me until the other carnival folk come out and see us. . . I feel myself leave him and the earth plane.






I had to write this whilst it was still fresh in my mind.


Why is it me who gets all the past life recalls !?






I recalled a second egyptian one where I was not a nice person, a quite vindictive woman of royalty who would happily dismember anyone who was disloyal to me. . .


One was around 1870 and I had a family, husband, 2 children and a lovely house in the country. I was a writer but never published my works as I was too "shy". I died around 70 and quite happy with my life, but not deeply satisfied.


Another was as a victorian kitchen maid, I was 23 working cutting fish, and fed the boiled heads to the kitchen cat, Molly, a black cat who sat on the stone window sill munching them. Molly as it turns out is Scatty, my current female cat. She tried to stop me leaving one night, but I just half tripped half jumped over her to run out into the cobbled street right in front of a horse and cart.


And yes I recalled the rather gruesome being trampled on. . . I wouldn't recommend it. *sigh*






Honestly some of these past lives read like a heartwrenching love novel. But I couldn't for the life of me make this stuff up! Otherwise I would be writing books already!






Following me sobbing my heart out experiencing the life with me and Twin and realising how "tragic" every life we had had ended, I was told it wouldn't be repeated again. All Karma is being resolved, hence the flashback to release the pain. It's funny how you don't realise how much you hurt until you stop distracting yourself and pay attention to it. But equally so is the fact as soon as you do pay it attention, it releases and one feels so much lighter happier and better! I don't feel as bad as before, so it definitely shifted something.






I am actively shifting as much and all the stuff I no longer need emotionally etc to allow in the brand spanky new life that awaits me. . . :o) x













Namaste


xx

Contact and other Posts by Brendan of Collapsing Duality

Friday, 16 March 2012

Contact (by Brendan of Collapsing Duality) 14th March 2010

3/14/2010

CONTACT

Brendan

Over the past week I have been in email contact with Rebecca who is from England. She told me by email how glad she was that she had found Collapsing Duality because she has been in contact with a large group of beings who refer to themselves as "The Many." She also wrote to me that they told her she was from a pyramid soul family as well and that she was first generation.

Needless to say, I was amazed and excited all at the same time because nobody ever writes to me already knowing that much information about their soul families - let alone, the pyramids. If she was correct about her being 1st generation, it would mean that she was Mother to her pyramid. She asked me to help confirm for her if what she was being told was accurate and to help find her Higher Self Spirit Name.

On the 12th of March in a conversation with Elloweina, I learned that she was from another pyramid. My energy was weak on that day and even though I tried to pull out her spirit name, I could not muster the energy to bring it back and put it on paper. The only thing I got was that her name began with a "K."

On the 13th of March, I began again with Elloweina. As soon as I made contact with her, I heard shouting. Elloweina told me to shield myself because I was being attacked. I immediately shielded myself and while I did so, I could see and hear Elloweina fighting for me. I will not go further into these details because Angels can multi task and I was there to find out information regarding this Rebecca who had written to me.

So...I asked Elloweina for Rebecca's spirit name. I could see her lips move and hear the name in my head. It sounded like Keelyanamalahn. I verbalized the name I heard in my head, back to Elloweina. She laughed and said, "Almost, B. But you're off by just a little bit."

Then I had her spell it and scroll each letter across my visual field so that I could write it down. One by one the letters came across: K-i-l-i-a-n-a-m-a-l-a-a-n. Kilianamalaan. I verbalized it again and this time Elloweina said, "you got it."

I thought about the name for a moment and then I asked her again if she was from our pyramid. She responded by saying, "No, B, she is from another pyramid."

Then, the next thing that came to mind was to ask what generation she was from. Well...no sooner than I thought the thought, Elloweina put this in front of my visual field:

"1st"

Then I heard Elloweina say that she was the mother to her pyramid like Paula was the mother to our pyramid.

I thought about it for a moment - let it sink in and then I asked, "Elloweina, how many souls are currently incarnate on Earth, from her pyramid?"

Elloweina said, "3.7 million. But that number changes daily."

I thanked Elloweina for helping out with all of this. I was grateful for all of her help and protection.

Then, for clarification, I called in my merged higher/lower spirit self - Protilius, and received the same information from him.

Welcome to the Pyramids, Rebecca :) You already knew that you were part of them, but now you can say that YOU REALLY REALLY KNOW ;)

4/20/2010

CONTACT!

Please welcome Kartumalos to the Phoenix Pyramid. I have been working on receiving this name for quite some time. Kartumalos is the Father and divine compliment to Kilianamalaan (aka Rebecca). The both of them together are 1st Generation (mother and father) to their pyramid - also known as the original of the species. We will be working in the future to contact either his Higher Self and/or the physical that is [Twin], through journeying. The source of this information has been a long time coming and was delivered by Elloweina.

The Soul Pyramids, Soul Groups & Collapsing Duality. . .

Wednesday, 23 June 2010


The Soul Pyramids, Soul Groups & Collapsing Duality. . .



Firstly a mahoosive shout out to Brendan & Paula at http://www.collapsingduality.com/ !!! WOO-HOO! You guys have been one of my major path points and as a result I could tie in what I had been recieving directly from The Many. I had awakened to the soul group connections and recognised there was a pattern on a multi dimensional level, but logically speaking was having difficulty recognising it when I came across Collapsing Duality and the pyramids. I discovered my Higher Self, her name and what she looked like, and also Twins Higher Self and what he looks like. Brendan Astral travels (journeys) and remote views to find Twin Flames, and has successfully done so on several occasions - for his full story please see his site!



Both he and Paula are parents to their soul group - essentially on a soul level birthing all those on the generations below. When I contacted B to find out if Twin really was my Twin, which he confirmed, and if I was on his pyramid with my Twin, I also had ago at using my Higher Self and The Many to find out if I was and what Generation to see if it would be what B got from Ellowiena - his pyramids Angel and his Higher Self.


I was more than suprised when my message stated myself and my Twin were from another pyramid and not only that, we, like Brendan & Paula, are first Generation - the soul groups soul parents.





Brendan shortly after confirmed it as did Ellowiena and his Higher Self - and from there I have been able to recognize others in my soul group and their Twin Flames.






Our Higher Selves reside in the 7th Dimension, I "see" multi-dimensionally and am also able to find and draw others Higher Selves. Kilianamalaan is my HS and Kartumalos is my Twins, both reside together in the woodland areas of the planet. Everything is crystaline based, and has an amazing energy to it. There is a Sun, A moon and a ringed planet in the sky which is pink/orange. Everything seems to sparkle. Our Higher Selves personalities can be very different to our own - but they are still very much us. We can work with them or even merge with them. They also have a shadow side or totem animal which comes out if need be for Astral Confrontations or if when merged we choose to use them.





Kilianamalaan's Shadow Self is a dragon, 4 wings, 6 legs, 6 eyes. Big and Powerful, controlled and has a massive presence about her, she can make short work of any opposition.


Kartumalos's Shadow Self is a large wolf, when angered is extremely rabid, he won't let go until whatever has attacked has been utterly decimated.


The Shadow Selves come across as pure black, with coloured eyes, mine being red and Twins bright blue.


These sides of our nature exsist within us also, usually hidden away until forced out. However once we recognise these Totems, they become our friends and we can work with them to help use them positively on our journey.



I have had psychic battles with the ex (and my Twin!), which I have overcome, and always leave with healing and love. Ultimately the best way to stop Fear and Anger, is with Love. Love is basically the energy of pure Source, and when we learn to use it, it overcomes all else.




My fave saying - "There is only Love, all else is illusion. . ."

Coincidences,Signs and Sychronicities

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Coincidences,Signs & Sychronicities

I have lost count of the coincidences,signs and sychronicities that have l have seen!

Mostly they were [TV Show / Character] related - the significance in the story likes to our spiritual path. Discovering that [character] is not unlike Twins past life as my brother on Artcuris, and the story of the interstellar wars kind of reflected in [TV Shows] sub plot - one that reveberates throughout time and effects the entire universe and various dimensional levels.


Others for a while were Wales and Cardiff related - being drawn to certain places, seeing the welsh dragon randomly and overhearing or random comments about Wales and Cardiff in conversations. Then once I had visited and also found out (by accident - another "co-incident") where Twin lives, and Oyster references for about a month after. I then find the [TV show] character new main actor is from where I live - Northampton. And then that the [TV show convention] has been held here in Northampton - of ALL places in the UK (why not Cardiff?) and I never friggin knew until a few weeks back!


I am contuinally discovering little things like this and patterns emerging.



One day I specifically asked for an obvious blatant sign that I wasn't mad and my Twin was really my Twin Flame. . . I was in a Spiritual Shop at the time, and figured that'd help boost my request. As I sat at the bus stop I looked to my left and all I saw where the massive words [film name] that was also the name of my Twin. A poster for a new film . . . how appropriate. I said to my sis - if that aint a sign I dunno what is - but to be sure if I see it 2 more times, no more no less then I know it really is a sign. . .lo and behold I saw the same poster another 2 times all the way back home.


There are many more I currently cannot recall, but I will amend this as I remember.


Tonights number plate as I left a friends after doing some reading for him and helping him on his path was an unexpected and welcome sign, it is the first number plate with his initials on I have seen.



Well for now I say goodnight with my STELLAAAAAAAA!!! sized headache. . . urgh.

Namaste and Good Nite!

xxx

Not So Silent Desperation

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Not So Silent Desperation. . .

This continual battle with my ego is doing my head in. I know all this stuff, and I have had so much "foretold" about what may/will/should happen, and yet I feel like I am in a void of sorts. I know I need to focus on what to do next. I have no home, scant income and no idea what is going to happen next. I recognise however I am in a good place in a weird way, as I am free to go where I like, when I like. I have no responsibility to anyone but myself. I do have direction and know where I wish to be, but it is breaking the goal into baby steps to get there.

I was watching "Smallville" a couple of weeks back and Louis was going on about being more than in a relationship with Clarke and helping the Blur was about a greater calling, being of Service to humanity. This really hit home for me as this is what the Twin Flame relationship is about - a greater calling and being of service, not only to humanity, but to the universe.

Some Twin Flames are here only in a service aspect as friends, others in full relationships and marraige. Whatever the physical dynamic, it is all about the greater calling.

This is why what I am maybe confusing my frustration and desperation for. . . these things live in the head, because I am not getting the results I had hoped for, yet my heart pulls so hard to doing crazy things I would never have considered before. I am no longer afraid to speak out and say how I feel, and that I am openly and publicly putting the call out to my Twin Flame because this is where my path has lead me. I tried the discreet options, so now I must be more "assertive". I am continually guided by my guides and other readers/psychics and intuitives to be the one to intiate communications. . . and how I have to battle through all my obstacles to get there. There is so much heartache around, old hurts surround us as we push through this transition phase and I just want it to end so the next phase can begin.

It is now summer, and since leaving my last relationship I have learnt to love myself more and more. Whilst I still work on these, and also focus on day to day living, I have other dimensional "duties" as well as the Twin Flame Path which this is all upon. The Quest for self love and living authentically can be tough, and although simple rules apply - it is not easy. I sometimes think would I be better off as I was before all this, oblivious and ignorant to the greater works of the universe.

I know though that to live the future I have seen, I must go through a major death, and that once this is complete and all those around me who are not matching my energy will not stay in my life or shift to match mine.

As I work on my issues, these reflect on my Twin and vice versa.
Every thought, action and choice we make causes ripples to those around us, stretching out far and wide - and for us they effect the other directly even though we may not be able to see how.

I still find it hard to grasp how I Love a complete stranger, but I find myself loving people I come across more and more, that I have a heart connection that is increasingly getting stronger to those around me. Those in my soul group I just KNOW who they are because I have a distinct chakra reaction. Everyone's energy feels different, yet there are similarities.

I can tell who is heart driven, psychic, sacral driven, those who use fear as control as they are fearful themselves. I sometimes hear peoples thoughts, something that freaked me out when I suddenly picked up people making passing thoughts about me - one guy I caught thinking something like I hope she doesn't look round and see me looking at her - so of course I did and I caught him, and he looked away looking a bit uncomfortable! I could hear a mother in her head bitching about something, another wondering what to do about a situation. . . I became so overwhelmed I had to get out of there fast. The strange thing was - it was only certain people in this crowd I could read, and again I feel this might be a soul connection thing, that stuff leaks in easier if they are part of my group.

I can read others, some people are harder dependant on their own abilities and blocks, some are easy as they are open. Surface thoughts are fleeting, but I am mainly a soul reader, and when I truly connect, I can read ones soul, there purpose, who they really are and how they really feel underneath the facade of life and others preconceptions of who they think we are and who we pretend to be.

I am scraping those layers off to reveal my soul to the world and hope to inspire others to be the same. To just BE themselves. Live your soul purpose, follow your path of Joy. Mine just happens to include the challenge of having someone famous *rolls eyes* as a Twin Flame - but this is not about the packaging, this is about what lays beneath. Twin Flames are the same soul, split in two - so whilst the packaging is very very different in many ways, the soul is identical.

No-one will ever better understand your situation as a Twin Flame unless they them selves are one. Even then, the only person who truly knows you, and truly understands you is your Twin, and even for those who are "runners" eventually the path will lead you back home.

Namaste
xxx

The Past Life Connection

Monday, 21 June 2010


The Past Life Connection. . .


Ok so most of us have had past lives in some context, either many hundred for the older souls who originate back from the dawn of creation, to the newer ones coming in for the first time on this planet. Most of us older ones have had lives with each other either as karmic partners/soul mates or bit part players/support acts to each other. For a percentage who have been incarnate on the Twin Flame frequency - those who hold there Twin Flames in an external Duality we have experienced only a handful of those lives together in a karmic push-pull until the time to fully unite arrives in our final incarnations.


Some say we have only 12 lives with our Twins, but it may be more. I know I have recalled 11 of them with him over the course of a year - one life I recalled before but only the fragments in which I recognized my ex and my sister.




My Ex partner seems to have been the catalyst for the continual karmic dance of seperation in each of my lives shared with my Twin - at some level it seems he agreed to the role of "bad guy" (of course this is a matter of perspective - it is more to do with the lessons each of us needed to learn - it is not to say he is a bad person!)




I have been suprised, even shocked at some of the lives I recall. The first Life was picked up by another psychic who channels beings known as "The Many" Who I also now work with and channel also. They seem to be made up of many beings including masters, celestials and members of the light council as well as personal guides all working together in a common goal.




Our first Life incarnate conciously as brother and sister on Arcturi/s. I was a High Priestess of sorts, and he was a commander in the Military, I believe the Galactic Federation of the time. My Ex was a politician and My sister mine and my Twins Mother. One Woman I know was my best friend, advisor and counsel, her Twin Flame, a pilot in the fleet. In this life this woman and my Twin were Partners as she was also a bounty hunter/renegade warrior and she and he hit it off as they both loved the adventure.

My ex was jealous of the close bond I shared with my brother and wanted to get close to me. He felt to get my Twin out of the way, he sent him on a mission to a planet that was being attacked by the Syrian Councils genetically engineered "arachnids" (they are like big giant scorpian spidery things that decimate planets). The idea was to get him out of the way for a while. However his plan failed as I rejected the advances. I had asked my counsel to join my brother/Twin and look after him, which she agreed to. Both her and my brother knew the likelyhood of coming back though was slim given the nature of the mission. I was unaware, and after rejecting the exes advances, in jealousy he had me diposed through spin of words and lies. I was exiled, where he again tried to advance on me thinking I would need him in my lonely state. Again I rejected him and he died a bitter an twisted being. After I was exiled I shortly thereafter learned my brother had died on the mission along with virtually all those on the planet. My friend Janine was The planets royalty along with her Twin, Venusian. They survived the onslaught only to witness the destruction of their civilisation. The other womans Twin, left that life feeling guilty because he was made to believe he didn't get the rescue ship to the planet on time - although he did, another spin by my ex to avoid blame for his decision to send the fleet out.

I died of a broken heart following the news of my brothers and my counsels death and felt guilt over it only uncovered when I past life read the woman, allowing me to resolve that guilt with her.



I am not sure if these lives are in order after this one as mostly I either was not aware of the dates or haven't yet recalled enough to know. The rest of the lives are on Earth.


The next one again was recalled in context with the ex as I was married to him as his Queen, he ruled a part of Atlantis. My Name was Awen, and when I recalled looking over a cliff at the ocean with the full moon bright in the sky awaiting my beloved husband I was aware I was 225 years old, blonde loose wavy hair, bright blue eyes - standard Atlantean colouring, I loved to tend to an apple orchard and pick apples. I was an attuned crystal knowledge keeper and I supported my husbands ruling. My Twin was a good friend and counsel to us both. However this was at the time toward the end of the Golden Age, my ex was corrupted by power and greed and left me heartbroken to overthrow the main rulers of Atlantis with invading forces from other worlds offering technology and power.

TF then became my confident, and eventually companion. Towards the end we confronted the ex and the others, and in anger at my "betrayal" towards him in my refusal to join him and being with my Twin, my ex killed him. I died at the ripe old age of 1000 ish of a broken heart (again) and Atlantis was eventually destroyed.


Now I have no idea of the order, but another life I was in Holland, my mother died in childbirth leaving my Father, my Twin to look after me. I took over the house duties as I grew up and he, who was a toymaker, was my best friend as well as Dad! We had a close relationship, he doted on me and made me the most fabulous toys, loving to play with me. We would travel to sell his toys, and as I grew older, I would at times stay at home so I could attend to duties. However, one day he did not return from his travel, and I was heartbroken. I died in my 20's from some form of tumour/cancer, after years of sadness for my lost Father and Best Friend.




Cheerful much.


Another was in Germany, I was named Helga (how original). My current Dad was mine and the exes Dad - the ex was my older brother. We lived in a small cottage with a watermill and wheat field out back, a stream running by it. To one side were large hedges, the other a woodland. We were about a mile or so from the town. My Twin was part of a wealthy family and from a young age we were best friends and eventually around the age of 15 became lovers. The ex was again jealous of this bond, and of my Twins status and wealth although he shared it with us where he could and bought us gifts - one was a fine velvet dress for me! He was generous and kind and when not attending to his duties would visit as often as possible.

One day at the age of around 17 we were planning to get married, I was mushroom picking in the woods. I heard shouting - my brother (the ex) would often get drunk and my Twin would try to calm him, often ending in my brother storming off mumbling. However this time it esculated, ending in my Twin being strangled by my brother (might explain his not liking his neck being touched thing!) and I came across his body by the stream with my brother stumbling drunkingly off. After my intial shock I ran at my brother and jumped on him screaming he was a monster, and he flung me off, only for me to hit my head on a rock in the stream, killing me instantly as I fell next to my Twin. . .


Monday, 21 June 2010

Past lives continued. . .


The next one was in ancient Egypt - this one I started remembering fragments from to do with the ex around 3 years ago, when I started getting Angel related visions and seeing strange light flashes, orbs and Incubus attacks - the scariest part I ever experienced in my spiritual journey to date!


Anyhoo, I was a young girl around 15, I saw myself by the Rive Nile on lush grass fetching water in an urn. I was taken away by strangers in return for money to my father. My current life Sister was a ruling queen at this time, unable to bear children. She had many concubines, of which I became one. I became her favourite - almost like a pet. When the Romans came, one soldier named Thadius (my ex) became my secret lover - but also the Queens, to keep the peace and her happy he had to do what ever it took by command of his officers. He wanted me though, but once it was discovered I was pregnant, the Queen demanded to know who and one look told her. In her anger she chained me up and kept me in luxury to ensure the child would be safe. My friend then and now Hayley would come to me to check on me and update me on the situation. When it came to my due time, Thadius was made to make the choice of killing me, or being killed himself. He was also promised great riches. Reluctantly, he took his spear and impaled me his foot on my chest, he removed the spear and I lay dying as the Queen took a dagger and cut me open, they removed the child and the last thing I saw was her holding him - my Twin. I then died.


Another one I was a Man! In Japan, a Samuri warrior. Twin and the ex were women - Twin was my wife, who was killed by the ex who was a ninja working for the general of the Emporers army seeking a scroll I was safeguarding. I was unaware the ex was the one who killed my wife, and in my grief be-friended me, gained my trust and became my lover, only to then kill me by my own sword - calling me a fool and taking the scroll.



The next was in Africa, I am a Tribal "Princess" and Twin a warrior, we married and I get pregnant, one night the village is destroyed in a flash flood, and Twin takes me to his village. This village is later ravaged by invading white men, and Twin is killed by the ex who is one of them. I am then taken as his slave who he repeatedly abuses. I am still pregnant, but because of the beatings, I die eventually of malnutrition and blood poisoning caused by an internal rupture of the uterus.


Again - very cheerful!


One life I have no idea of timing, my Twin is a cleaner/feeder in a circus with various captured animals and unusual things. I am a wildchild - I survived in a forest, unable to speak. Captured by the circus people when they travel nearby and I approach them in curiousity, I am kept with the animals. John looks after me and over 2 years teaches me some basic speech and understanding, we form an unusual but close bond. However I catch an illness like flu, and on the grass in his arms under the moon on a clear night pass away. I am only in my teens.



The next I believe we were Cherokee/Native Americans. I seemed to be autistic in this life, my father the village chief and shaman. I inherited the abilities, such as visions and the like, and drew alot in the sand and mud the things I would see. However I didn't speak, only hummed as I drew, rocking back and forth when I did so and when stressed. I was named Rocking Bird for this.My Twin was a couple of years older, took me under his wing so to speak to try to encourage interaction with others. We became close and he taught me to horse ride, which began to bring me out of myself. On one occasion, the horse startled and stopped suddenly by a cliff edge flinging me off, as I hung on for dear life Twin rescued me. The shock scared us both, enough for me to say my first words to him which were Thankyou. . .

His name in this life was Running Wolf. My Father was called White Feather, and he is now one of my active guides, along with my brother from that life Red Eagle, who is one of my Twins Guides now. We also have our power animals working with us, his is the wolf and mine the bear. I believe the village was invaded and have a sense we were killed by hostile whites again, but the details I haven't yet recalled.


And the final one I recall - Cardiff. . .

I have no idea of historical accuracy, so I am going by what I have seen, Cardiff is invaded by what seems to be the crusaders. I am a barkeep and the local "witch" but well known and liked as I have the "healing touch" Twin is in the Kings Guard and meets me through drinking at the tavern. We flirt a lot, eventually planning to marry, he promises me I am the only woman for him now and there will be no other. When Cardiff is invaded, Twin teaches me how to handle a sword at my request, and in battle after my village is destroyed I come face to face with the one responsible - here I recognise him as the ex. He is impressed a woman would dare fight and have the courage to face him, however he wounds me leaving me on my knees. He will not kill children or women though. My Twin is fighting off a rather psychopathic crusader who knocks him down. Ex then walks away from me and puts his hand on the shoulder of the other crusader and tells him him to kill me. My Twin hears this and as the other crusader comes towards me to stab me, he leaps in front only for both of us to be impaled. As we die, he looks at me and the last thing he says is "I am sorry I couldn't protect you".

The Visions

Monday, 21 June 2010




The Visions. . .



Ok, so amongst my visions, I find it hard to discern what is literal and what is metaphorical/symbolic. I also am never sure if it is something that has happened, is happening, or will happen Barr one vision - the only one I managed to instigate myself and I had verification of it the day after through a photo. The majority of the visions seem to be to get my attention to send healing in some context - although I didn't know why at the time they happened I just trusted that I was doing what was needed to help - else I wouldn't have been shown them.




Part of the process seemed to include a physical pre-cursor, namely my crown chakra going mad and 3rd eye followed by the left side of my face going weird Lol! If I tried to block or ignore it progressively went to the point where I would become disorientated and I would start feeling unwell.




I have now taken to calling the process as doing a "Phoebe" from Charmed, as she was the witch with the premonitions and had visions of stuff that came on suddenly. Seriously - they are not far off like you see her doing on the TV!!!




Anyhoo, back to mine. . . My first ones where just images of my Twin in some context needing help in some form - but as I was seeing his lower Spirit Self in a inner sight context I had no idea WHY he needed it so I just sent Archangel Michael along to sort him out. This was my general thing to do as I figured it was the easiest way. Back in June 2009 however I had a vision whilst I was in bed with my (then) partner - I was settled down ready to fall asleep and was relaxing but still awake when very vividly I saw my TF in what I presumed to be his (very nice) car, slumped over the steering wheel eyes wide open and looking very much dead. This completely freaked me out - as I found that I felt like I was sitting in the passenger seat next to him and I started yelling at him to come back as it wasn't his time. He then suddenly sat upright and looked startled before getting out of the car and stumbling onto a grass area near where he had crashed disorientated and then half-collapsed as an ambulance and police arrived. It was night time in the vision and the car was Silver from what I could see from the inside - light coloured seating. . . he was wearing the black shirt and silver trousers he wore at the concert I attended.




It lasted probably only seconds, but my heart was pounding and it had upset me considerably as it felt so real. I asked one of my friends and they said it was probably metaphorical for something that was going on his life, although I did then find out a few months later he had been in an accident with his family around that time although the details were different. Maybe I picked up on the accident, but my brain filtered the details through wrong, or it meant something else? I would hate to think this one was a premonition.




Following this, I have visions probably around 5 times a month, mostly mundane boring stuff I can't verify. A few weeks back when Twin was coming back from the US after filming on Thurs I thought I would try to instigate a vision - not knowing where exactly he was or what he was doing at that time, and I wasn't aware he was coming back that day either.

So, I tried linking in - and straight away I could see him walking down a street in a town/city - I assume LA, and I could see he was wearing a blue check shirt and he seemed to be holding bags, I didn't focus in on this too much - again I assumed it was shopping. It was a sunny day and quite warm. I thought I would have a go at what Brendan (from www.collapsingduality.com) does when he journeys/astral travels/remote views and shift to TF's perspective - effectively blending a part of myself with him. Immediately I could see the sleeves to the shirt were rolled up and that it was definitely the blue check variety. I had had a tattoo done a couple of days before and weirdly it felt like his arm was itching where I had had it done although it may have just been my arm itching coming through (given I pick up on his physical stuff at times - I wonder if he does on mine?).

So, that was pretty much it - nothing out of the ordinary viewpoint wise (obviously remote viewing and blending with someone may be seen as just a tad out of the ordinary!)

The next day, however, I then "stumbled" across some photos that someone had conveniently posted of my Twin at the airport, taken the same day as I had the vision.

He was wearing the blue check shirt with the sleeves rolled up and carrying bags - his luggage, a holdall, and a trolley case. . .




And that people, was my first vision validation.



Many readers/psychics have picked up on my abilities and have assured me what I see is accurate (whatever context that is in!)



Other things, I obviously would prefer to verify with my Twin himself due to the nature of what I have seen I prefer not to detail it all on here for now, without his permission.

I am itching to do the book but as my Twin is essentially half the story it would be helpful to be able to talk to him and also again get permission to use his name in the book (ok it is not a legal requirement but I would rather ask!)

Until then, that part of my life will have to be put on hold as I don't feel it can really come to fruition without him being ok with it.


I have sent my Twin emails detailing about a lot of my stuff, but as it has to go through people before it gets to him I have no idea if he ever received/read them. His web team has been accomodating in my requests to forward emails and for this I am grateful. I do recognise when the universe is giving me a helping hand!


Soooo many coincidences and synchronicities in my life to do with my Twin seemingly minor, but all so relevant - {TV show} being a frikkin major factor in a lot of them Lol! The alien stuff? And [Tv Show]? That is a whole other story - linking the story thread of our lives now to past lives we have shared - 11 of which so far I have recalled and which I will detail about in the next Blog. . . and how it all ties in with starseeds/celestials, Ashtar command, and the Light Council and this multidimensional living that many of us are now experiencing as we open up to the truth of what is out there and ultimately what is within us.

Spangalactic Hugs & Bouncy Blessings

xXx

The Awakening . . . Part 2

This happened circa June/July 2009


I had already had a go at automatic writing when I was learning to contact my angels and guides, but hadn't done much for a while. The experiences had then inspired me to try to see if I would get any info with regards to him (although slightly skeptical and taking it all with a pinch of salt until anything happens to verify it!)

This is the writing/typing as follows:

I am one of [his] guides, I have come to you because you have asked me too. You requested more information on the situation between you and [him], There is no fallicy here you are correct in your assumptions that there is a true connection between you. He is need of your energies to heal him [He] is a key player in what is about to become. Your help will help him achieve his soul purpose. He feels the need to be loved because at a soul level he has been starved of it in previous lives. His need for attention is a cry for help. He is open and loving and generous and kind. [His Partner] gives him the things he needs to sustain a good relationship in the physical world but lacks the compassion and deep emotional love that [he] so greatly craves. You will meet him in time and get the chance to discuss these things with him. He may not be open to them at first but he will listen to you because he will remember you at a soul level. His dreams are not remembered by him currently but he will begin to remember soon and he may recognise you. Give him some time as he is very busy at present but we will work to help him find his way to you. Blessed Be dear child of light. Your work is most welcome and you will reap a great relationship from this with him in unexpected ways. Thank you Rebecca. Good Bye.