Twin Flame Diaries . . . The Awakening

Welcome to The Twin Flame Diaries...

Please read my disclaimer HERE before reading.

I wrote this blog post originally on Psychic Knight run by Michele Knight and one of my contacts there was a reader/channeller and dream interpreter named Raine who I discussed my experiences with.



Feb/March 2009


The *weird* stuff started happening, when my sis picked up some My Little Ponies from a charity shop and got me to sell them for her (made loads of money for her birthday as they were sought after ones) as she knew I had some knowledge and also used to collect and customize. This then inspired me to (eventually) have a go at using Sculpey and customizing a character pony. Originally I thought "I don't wanna keep this pony so why am I making it?!" Then I thought about selling it, but that didn't feel right either. Then it popped into my head about gifting it to the person the character was based on - John Barrowman. (Crazy I thought at the time!) I did a little research and found on a pony forum and chatted with someone who had sent others small ponies of their characters but had not got round to doing this any of his. (Still not sure if she ever did.)

The Prototype Captain Jack Harkness Pony

Eventually, I sent it off after procrastinating about it for several weeks and tried to find out if he received it thru his agents, who were as helpful as they could be, but I still haven't heard if he got it. I feel he may have, but since I sent it I noticed strange things started happening to me with regards to him. . .

Ok so we all dream of celebrities we fancy and sometimes they can seem quite real. However, one thing I have learned about me is if it is my mind processing and working stuff out like information and fearsand desires then I experience it, 3rd person - as if "outside" of myself being an observer. However, if it is something I feel is "astral" or energetically happening then I experience it, 1st person like I am really there. Sometimes I get a mix of both. The first dream I remember, I was in a cinema theatre and people where leaving, but there was a table where some seats should have been facing out to the main aisle and he was sitting there. Everyone else had seen him and left when I sat down to him. I remember him putting his hand out on the table palm up fingers slightly bent and as I touched his fingertips there was this feeling of knowing him and he said I will always be there for you, I will always be your friend. Now, this felt so real and I felt his fingertips and that sense of familiarity as we touched. But that was all there was until a few weeks later.

June: The next part is from a blog I posted on another site as this was all very new and strange at the time. . .The other night/early morning before waking I dreamt of him. What stuck with me is the fact I remembered it so clearly and the "story" along with the feelings in the dream. We met up in the dreams and cuddled and even kissed but took it no further because in the material world we loved our partners.
The sense of familiarity with him and love was overwhelming. On this occasion, I went to his house (or possibly his parents?) and my cat Scatty was also there wandering around outside. He had gone for a walk with his dogs, but I could see him and he turned around and said he'd be back shortly after walking them. When I was in his house I saw his parents who looked younger, then I was outside a sort of stage area where he was performing for some people waiting for him as if I was a best friend supporting him. At this point though he looked different, thin, and ill. I heard his parents say something about an illness he had, but it was like no-one else saw he looked ill. Then, I was in the kitchen at his fridge and there was a young black-haired boy ghost in there eating all the food and people were scared as if they used the fridge he would suck the life out of them (maybe this was why he looked ill?) I know in the dream he would go to the fridge and take food out oblivious to this boy in there. I coaxed the boy out of the fridge, he went from being scared to being scared when I told him about crossing over. I proceeded to give him a hug and all was well and he left. I vaguely remember seeing him again after and he looked normal again. This doesn't strike me as a subconscious wish dream, more like I was working on something on another level connected to him. I look at him on TV and I see a great man whos gorgeous and get into the girly crush mode, but when I see him live, think or dream about him it's like I know him in some way and I find it really strange as it's not something I have experienced with many people, only my man really! *(note: as of Oct 2009, now ex).

Sooooo. . . any thoughts people or am I just obsessed!? Lol! 

I have sent him a Pony I made based on his character because I didn't have the space to keep it nor did I want to and thought he might like it. I have been in contact with his agents, but don't email them every day harassing them, only to ask if it's arrived safely and if he's received it ok. I think if I met him in person, I'd either be very calm and friendly or nervous and flustered!

Is it all in my head or am I picking up on something weird in my dreams?  

I don't often dream of my man *(now ex) and if I do it's usually an argument dream which precludes us having a rough patch or bad day! *(actually usually about him being unfaithful as well which all turned out to be true or warning/prophetic dreams)


(Below is a reply from the person I mentioned at the start)

The following was a reply to this - Comment by **** on August 10, 2009 at 10:52pm Delete Comment


Seems to Me that there is a connection between the two of You that is important It is perfectly possible that You were off doing some healing in His life I asked the dudes and they said You did evict a spirit from His house it wasn't doing any good as You know anywayWould be interesting to see what You would get if You did meet Him in person and had the chance to chatI am being shown that while You lust and joke about His body etc You are at a distance and are able to see what those close to Him cannot this is why You were asked to do what You did You have no hidden agenda where His well being is concerned so You are able to do the job impartially There is something about His parents as well I get the feeling with what I am seeing that You may find Yourself back there at some point in the dream timeI feel that it is the mother that needs help more than the father She is very sad about something I feel/see pain and tears I know it goes back a long way because of the images I am being shown to go with it Mmmm interesting they don't usually interfere like that xx

Comment by The White Phoenix of the Crown on August 11, 2009 at 11:52am Delete Comment
Wow! I thought maybe wishful thinking on my part, but I do feel a really strong connection to him, and I really couldn't understand why. I am not sure he is open-minded to the spiritual side, although I know he is superstitious. I did wonder if I really was doing work astrally because these sorts of dreams I am me first person, whereas normal subconscious/brain dreams I am 3rd person looking at myself and experiencing at the same time. I would love to meet him and discuss this sort of thing, he'd prob think I am crazy loony fan or summit! I might email his agent about this, but not too sure what to say. Or I can write a letter, but it takes so long to get through to him! Well, I am waiting for a response regarding my pony to him, so I'll cosmically order for him to contact me directly (in person preferably Lol!). As they say though if you don't ask you won't get! Thanks for validating my thoughts, it is of huge help!


x Comment by **** on August 11, 2009 at 12:14pm Delete Comment

Go for it what have You got to lose?  You do a lot more than You realize on the astral when You are looking through Your own eyes it is real, not wishful thinking I got the feeling that He is aware He couldn't play the role He does in Doctor Who if He didn't have some kind of belief He plays it too well if You see what I mean xx

So that ... is part one.